Category: Personal


  • I Got Nowhere to Go

    I Got Nowhere to Go

    Image by Leroy Skalstad from Pixabay

    It was 4:30am and 21° outside. I sat inside my toasty warm truck on the way to work.  As I got off the freeway and pulled up to the light, I saw him standing there. When I asked what he was doing outside at this time of the night, he said, “I got nowhere to go.”

    He didn’t have to tell me he was freezing. I figured that out for myself.

    The week before I saw this man standing in the frigid cold, the heater in my truck went out. It was 32° outside but I sat freezing in my truck because I didn’t have any heat.  It is unbelievable how the cold cuts right through to your bones. I was able to fix my heater and it worked better than ever. But I could not forget how cold I was without it.

    I have struggled giving money to those standing on the street corner. Often, there are so many of them I just don’t think I can help each one. Sometimes I wonder if I am perpetuating their circumstance by giving them money when, if they spent the same amount of effort, they could be paid for working.

    Then there is a part of me that believes some of those guys standing on the corner are the ones committing crimes.

    A coworker’s home had been broken into, we believe, by a former coworker. The former coworker apparently found living on the streets better than working.

    One day, the former coworker came to where he used to be employed and told a crew member that he knew where he lived. It was at this point the crewmember’s home was broken into. Not long after the break-in, the former coworker came back into the store he had worked at, but this time he was wearing very nice clothes and a smirk to go with it. It was as if he was gloating over the crewmember’s loss.

    The theft may not have been from the former coworker and if you are inclined to believe my speculation is wrong, so be it. Let us just say then that I have a lot of reasons that have clouded my willingness to give another person money because they are standing on the corner asking for it.

    But on this particular morning, having personally experienced the misery of the bitter chill, there were no excuses to prevent me from helping.

    It didn’t matter how this stranger arrived at this point in his life. I realized that I was not his judge. The only thing that mattered was that a human being was standing outside, in severely cold temperatures at 4:30 in the morning.

    If this guy was looking for a sympathy vote, then he got it from me. Along with it, he taught me we are all on this journey called “Life” together and I can afford to help a fellow traveler out.


  • I Once Was Lost

    I Once Was Lost

    Image by Bishnu Sarangi from Pixabay

    The man’s fig tree was barren.  It had never produced fruit and he was done with it.  The time had come to cut the tree down.  Why was this fig tree even using up the ground?

    The keeper of the vineyard understood his boss’ concern over the unfruitful fig tree, but the tree had been planted for a reason.  After all, it was a fig tree and when a fig tree bears fruit, it is refreshing and delightful.

    So, the vineyard keeper asked his boss for some time to cultivate and fertilize the tree in the hope that in time it would bear fruit.  For truly, if the tree started bearing fruit, then all was not lost.  But if after all their effort the tree was never going to bear fruit, then let it be cut down.

    His boss agreed and he went to work.

    That fig tree was me in 1982.

    I was 22 years old and could not be more barren if I tried.  Living off and on with a married woman, we were doing drugs and I was drinking seven days a week.  As if things could not get worse, I got her pregnant.  Because of our drug abuse, she began bleeding and I agreed to terminating her pregnancy.

    I didn’t even try to save our baby.

    In my sin, I could not have been further from Jesus Christ.  I was lost, separated from God while I walked the path of darkness and the shadow of death.

    But God sent a keeper of the vineyard to nurture me in the hopes that I would become the fruitful tree He had desired when He planted me in my mother’s womb.  His name was Efrain.

    Efrain was from Puerto Rico.  Ironically, his name in English is Jeff.

    Efrain and I worked together and while he never forced his faith on me, he was there to share his faith when I needed it most.

    It was a long process shared over a cutting table where up to four of us could stand and cut onions, jalapenos, tomatoes and more for the Mexican food we were serving.

    In time this gentle soul became dear to me and I asked him for help in buying my first bible.  He agreed and I made my first trip to a bible store, which was a big step for me.

    At the time I bought my Bible, I lived alone and was working early shifts which meant I was off by mid-afternoon.  Each night I crawled into bed, picking up my bible from the nightstand and read the Gospels which Efrain had encouraged me to read.  And each night as I read those Gospels, I began realizing how far apart from God I was and just how much I needed Jesus Christ.

    I’m sure I didn’t even make it through the book of Matthew, before I felt the need to tell God that I loved Him.  But, no matter how strong that desire was, I could not speak those feelings out loud, even though I was alone in my own apartment.  It was not until the seventh night, when I summoned all of my courage to say out loud, “I love you, Jesus.”

    When I spoke those words, it was as if all the walls I had built in my 22 years came crashing down.  I was born again and I could feel the new life in me.

    After Efrain helped me buy a bible, he moved away to go to school so that he could work in ministry.  I lost track of him and it took me several years to find him and share what he meant to me.  I have since lost track of him again, but hope to see him in heaven on that day God calls me to walk through the veil from this world to the next.

    The next world is the one we don’t see yet, but it is there, ready to be revealed in its time.

    If, like me, you are walking the path that does not lead to Jesus Christ, then let me encourage you.  God loves you and wants you to live with Him when this life is over.  He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to make a way into heaven for you.  The proof is in the Bible.  Here are a couple of verses to think about.

    1. “But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 5:20-21

    Jesus Christ will gladly overlook our wrongs if we turn to Him.  It is called Grace and it is His grace to forgive us those wrongs, no matter what they are.

    • “For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:3-4

    God wants everyone to live with Him in heaven.

    “Hell was never meant for man.  It was created for the devil and his angels.”  Billy Graham in one of his sermons.

    • For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.”  For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him.  For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.” Romans 10:11-13

    The hardest part is calling out to Jesus Christ.  It is getting past the walls in our heart that prevent us from turning to Jesus Christ.

    Like my friend from so long ago, I encourage you to pick up the Bible and start reading the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  In them, you will find Jesus Christ, His life, and His path.

    God took me from the path of darkness and the shadow of death that I walked and put me on the path of true life.  I can only hope that you will trust me when I say that God’s path is filled with far more beautiful things than we can ever imagine.  Beautiful people, beautiful words, beautiful things and in the midst of them all is Jesus Christ moving in our lives and revealing His true self to us.  I for one, could not ask for anything more.

    Leave the path of darkness and don’t look back.  Turn to the path of life and light today.  You will not regret it.

    If you believe in Jesus Christ already, then I want to take a moment to remind you that one day, the lost will be separated from Jesus Christ and heaven forever.  In fact, the lost are dying as we speak.  This is not acceptable!

    The lost need our patience right now!  They also need our love, mercy, forgiveness, understanding and more.  They need every chance to turn to Jesus Christ to escape the sentence of Death!

    Hence, the parable of the fig tree.  The lost man is barren in soul and spirit.  Little if any fruit is born toward their fellow man resulting in no treasure in heaven and being separated from the hope, we hold so dear, forever.

    That means that people are going to hurt your feelings.  They are going to cost you in time and money.  The lost are going to anger you and frustrate you.

    But God’s will is that you love others when they hurt you.  Even Jesus Christ called Judas Iscariot, friend, knowing that Judas would betray him.  It is painful to love others when they hurt us, but loving through that pain creates an incomparable fruit that is precious to God!

    And He wants you to forgive others, even when it costs you.  God can restore the time and money you lose through others.  But what if He doesn’t immediately restore what you have lost?  Then He has treasure in heaven waiting for you.  What we cling to in this life is trash anyway, compared to what Jesus Christ has waiting for us!

    Listen to the heart of the lost and gently share your faith in Jesus Christ if the opportunity arises.  Look to Jesus Christ for the words and timing.  Like Efrain so long ago, you may be someone’s introduction to Jesus Christ.

    “He also spoke this parable: “A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none.  Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’  But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it.  And if it bears fruit, well. But if not, after that you can cut it down.’” Luke 13:6-9


  • A Serpent of Slaves

    A Serpent of Slaves

    Image by Silke from Pixabay

    It was March 21st, 1748, a day he would never forget.  The storm ravaged the ship, ripping the sails and splintering the wood on one side of the ship.  John was too exhausted to man the pumps which removed the water threatening to sink the ship, so he was tied to the helm and did his best to hold the ship to its course.

    Through the next 11 hours, John compared the devastation of his life to that of the ship.  He couldn’t speak without profanity, his heart was hard as he sold men and women for profit, he drank like the proverbial sailor that he was and his lust for women were all in stark contrast to the hopes his mother had for him.

    When he was a boy, John’s mother had prayed for him and taught him scripture, some of which he recalled during his time at the helm.  The book of Proverbs came to mind as he thought about the words which paralleled his life in his present circumstance, “When your terror comes like a storm, and your destruction comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you…” Proverbs 1:27.  Although John had rejected his mother’s faith and was critical of anyone else’s faith, he wanted to live and could not help but see the connection between the Word and his life.  It was in those moments that his faith was born.

    At first, John could not believe he was worth saving.  The words from Proverbs were clear that God would laugh at him.  How could he live so far apart from God and still believe that God would save him?  Eventually John read the bible verse, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Luke 11:13

    Faith and change were slow for John.  He continued slave-trading but eventually changed his work, and sought to build up other’s faith.  He also married Mary, the daughter of the family that took him in when his mother died and his father was gone at sea.  It is said that at the end of his life John wrote their love “equaled all that the writers of romance have imagined.”1

    At age 39, John Newton began his life in ministry preaching what he once tried to destroy.  His mother’s prayers all those years before were finally being answered.

    John spent 43 years of his life preaching the Gospel.  During that time, he wrote 280 hymns, including “Amazing Grace”, was involved in abolishing the slave trade and ministered to people whether they were the poor, working class or wealthy.

    Although John felt he was beyond saving, it is abundantly clear he was not.  Perhaps you feel you are beyond saving, that you have sinned so much there is no way God could possibly love you enough to save you.  That would be no truer today that it was on March 21st, 1748.

    In his life, John Newton certainly would have read the following verses.  I share these with you as proof that God cares about you and wants you with Him in heaven when this life is over.  The world can be a dark place.  God, “who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth,” 1 Timothy 2:4, has left His word as a light for us to follow:

    “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

    For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.” Romans 10:13

    “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” Luke 5:32

    We are on an epic journey through life.  When the time comes, there are only two ways this life will end.  Either we will go to heaven, or the other place.  Please take the time today, right now, to consider that Jesus Christ came to save each one of us.  It is not so difficult to believe that God came in the form of a Man who died on a cross 2000 years ago to pay the price for sin.  Jesus Christ came to repair our path to heaven that Adam damaged.

    I leave you with the words of John Newton, a former slave trader and vile man who was near the end of his life:

    “My memory is nearly gone; but I remember two things:  That I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a Great Savior.”  John Newton

    I too must confess that I am a great sinner and Jesus Christ is my Great Savior who delivered me from death to life.

    Story taken from:  https://www.bethelripon.com/life-stories/2020/4/18/john-newton-the-great-blasphemer-behind-amazing-grace

    1.  https://www.bethelripon.com/life-stories/2020/4/18/john-newton-the-great-blasphemer-behind-amazing-grace, paragraph 9.
    1. Library of Congress, The Creation of “Amazing Grace”
      1. https://www.loc.gov/item/ihas.200149085/#foot1
    2. “Amazing Grace” by Steve Turner

  • Best Friends

    Best Friends

    Image by Photorama from Pixabay

    We both heard the charging dog bark at us, but what happened next is why I grew up wanting to be like him.

    Randy stood his ground prepared to kick whatever came out of the darkness in an attempt to defend himself, while I turned to run.  A distant voice halted the dog’s attack and neither of us were hurt but the intention of our choices was inescapable.  Randy never made me feel bad for my choice and the memory of that night wandered into the vault of untold distant memories of childhood friends as we walked in the darkness back to our campsite.

    I met Randy when his family moved down the street from us.  There was an established group of kids in the neighborhood but I drifted towards Randy.  Maybe it was because he was confident and outgoing.  I was shy and insecure and his strength bolstered my own confidence.  The fact that our birthdays were only 6 days apart solidified our friendship.  We were the same age and Randy felt more like a brother than a friend.

    Bicycles were our mode of transportation.  We explored the city far and wide on those magnificent two-wheeled inventions.  It was a time in the world when two young boys could go miles from home as they explored their surroundings and life.

    Our longest ride was over 20 miles.  At our request and with our parent’s permission, Randy’s dad put our bikes in the back of his truck and took us to Cave Creek.  I grumbled at the effort it took to get back home, but how I miss those days.

    The freedoms we enjoyed afforded us the opportunity for a little mischief that included many rolls of toilet paper and not a few firecrackers.  Fortunately, no one was hurt by our antics.

    We constantly drank Pepsi and ate bags of M & M’s.  It was not uncommon to see us outside the grocery store, leaning against the wall and refreshing ourselves with this favorite combination, our bikes standing ready to bear us at our command.  At least until Randy was diagnosed with Diabetes.

    As a teenager, Randy was found in a diabetic coma, laying on the floor in his family’s living room.  He would have to give himself injections for the rest of his life.

    Growing up in Phoenix, the hot summers kindled a passion for swimming.  Randy’s family had a pool and that helped fuel our obsession.  Twice we went skinny dipping and were caught both times.  Once by his mother as we swam naked in his family’s pool.  The other time was swimming sans suit in his uncle’s pool, we were spied by two neighbor girls.

    As we graduated from riding bicycles to driving vehicles and with endless miles of desert just outside of Phoenix, our world opened even more.

    Plinking with our .22’s was a favorite pastime and the long open miles of desert gave us new freedoms.  A couple of times we even took our rifles out, just wandering the desert, testing our aim and ability to inflict damage on inanimate objects.  It was a different world back then.

    Randy and I hunted quail, dove and rabbits in that desert together. We didn’t always find the tender meat we were looking for, but one day we did find a hawk’s nest with two babies inside.  Randy brought one home and raised it.  What a sight it was to see that hawk sitting calmly at the top of a telephone pole outside the back of Randy’s house, the sparrows and other little birds flying around, clearly agitated.

    Feeding time was a piece of chicken that Randy waved around until the bird flew down to receive it.  Randy would throw the meat into the air and the hawk grabbed it mid-flight, returning to his perch on the telephone pole while he ate it.  Eventually, the bird flew away.

    I couldn’t always be like Randy.  Randy didn’t like cats and once purposely ran over a cat.  I love cats and his actions really hurt me.

    Another time after turkey hunting, Randy pushed the limits of speed and safety in his desire to get home quickly.  I was upset at his reckless driving, but even though I had one or two near-death experiences on that ride home, his reckless driving came in handy on a different occasion.

    I was 16 and got beaten up because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Randy wasn’t with me that night and I suffered a broken jaw as a result of my beating.  The doctor said only being kicked in the head would have caused the bone to break as it did.  My jaw was wired shut for 6 weeks while it healed.

    Randy came to my rescue.  He knew I needed uplifting, so one night we went out in his Bronco.  It didn’t take long to find some open desert we could drive in.  We recklessly raced around the desert in the darkness with only the light of his KC Daylighters and headlights showing us the way.

    Occasionally, a rabbit was spooked and we chased that critter at full speed, doing brodies as necessary to keep it in our sight.  I don’t know what was more painful, the bouncing and jostling of being off-road with a broken jaw while chasing rabbits or laughing at seeing the rabbits in our headlights as they raced to get away.

    No best friend story is complete without losing a girlfriend.  When Randy wooed Allison away from me, it hurt.  Our relationship was hurt.  But it was only a matter of time before I realized the love of a best friend was more important to me than the love of a girlfriend.  In my heart I knew that Randy was very outgoing while I was shy.  I tried not to blame Allison for being attracted to him.

    Just before we turned 18, I was leaving for Alaska.  Randy threw me a going away pool party.  It wasn’t a big party but that is what made it special.  There was a girl there that I didn’t know, but we connected.  I don’t remember what we talked about, but it was genuine and I never forgot it.  I can still dimly see her face.

    There would be some return visits that allowed us the chance to explore and push the boundaries of life a few more times before the call of adulthood would get in the way and separate us.  As adults, we didn’t need to talk or visit all the time.  We already knew each other through a relationship that tested our bond and blessed our memories.

    How do you sum up the relationship of a best friend?  Best friends can be separated by the distance of life but your hearts are never parted.  A relationship built on the shared experiences of childhood is what binds these hearts together so that no matter how many years between visits or conversations, nothing can remove or hide that friendship.  It is the treasure of a childhood bond and is as vibrant as a childhood dream.  A childhood friend is the best of our hopes and dreams and it abides in a childlike faith that you are more one being than two.  It is before the days of adulthood when reality sets in and says, not so fast, you have work to do and it’s not so glamorous as you might have imagined.

    No matter how relentless adulthood is, the treasure of childhood best friends and their memories remains untarnished.  In fact, those days become dearer because we realize as adults just how special they truly were.

    Randy passed away on March 11th, 2015.  We spoke the week before his death.  It was the first time in our relationship that we discussed faith in God.  How could I know it was to be the last time we would speak in this life?

    Although I sum up our memories, they won’t be as significant to you.  But I share my memories as much to say that Randy was here, that he was part of my life and now the veil of this life has been removed for him just as it will be, one day, for you and I.

    This life is temporary.  God created this life to bless us in fellowship with Him.  One of the treasures He has bestowed on us is the gift of best friends.  Best friends are an earthly reminder of a Heavenly relationship with Jesus Christ.  He testifies of the best He has to offer through life’s most beautiful memories.

    In Heaven there will be nothing but cherished times of treasured relationships with each other and with the God who created us.

    I miss my friend.  We may not have talked all that much as adults, but now we will never be able to reminisce about the good old days.  He was such a significant part of my life it is hard to believe that he has stepped from this life to the next.  He has entered the world that is not seen.  Now I must wait in wonder at what he has discovered until that veil is removed for me.


  • Jesus Commands Us to Go!

    Jesus Commands Us to Go!

    Image by Mario from Pixabay

    This man’s story is one I am not qualified to write.  Both he and his music bring me to tears.  I first learned about him through a woman who is no longer in my life.  Immediately, his music touched me and spoke to me.

    Everything is taken from two resources listed at the bottom.  If I have missed notating credit, please forgive me.

    Keith began writing and singing his own songs at the very young age of 6.  Sure, there was music in his blood through the influence of his parents and grandparents, but still, 6 years old?!

    He learned to play the guitar and piano at an even younger age.  The piano was his favorite instrument, but he became bored playing classical music, so Keith would memorize the classical pieces and pretended to read the sheet music during his lessons.

    At age 11, Keith signed his first recording contract, singing only his own material.  With photos in the Teen Magazines but only minor success with his music, Keith became disappointed.  By age 14, Keith “felt like a total failure”.1

    At age 14, most of us have barely thought about what we want to do when we grow up, but Keith was more than a decade into his musical career by that time, if you include his singing baby songs before the age of 2 when his mother realized he had perfect pitch.

    When Keith was 15, he ran away from home.  That day, he started a journal, keeping track of his musical life as well as spiritual truths.

    Like so many people, confusion and misunderstanding drove him to drugs and a broken life.  For anyone, once in that hellhole, it is very difficult to escape, but Keith did escape and at age 19 met, Melody.

    The two married a year later, both musicians and both seeking spiritual truth.

    By age 21, Keith found the Rock he had been looking for all those years.  That Rock is Jesus Christ.

    It took a while after accepting Christ, to really understand and believe that Jesus was and is the One True God.  When this point finally sank in, both Keith and Melody were baptized in the Pacific Ocean.2

    They immediately became involved in ministry on the beaches and boardwalks where they lived.3

    Still newlyweds, Keith and Melody opened their home for a pregnant woman in need.4 But it didn’t stop there.  This couple invited so many people into their home that they needed more space.

    Keith and Melody bought another home and rented even more to help house “the homeless, hippies, people fleeing cults, troubled youth, and more.”5 Their home affectionately became known as “The Greenhouse.”

    Keith’s musical career took off.  He went from “concerts of 20 or less, to stadiums of 12,000 people.”6

    Keith and Melody, often gave their time and resources, including albums, away for free.  At one point, the count of over 200,000 albums had been sent into prisons and the poor.7

    By age 28, Keith’s music was at the top of the charts.

    Keith and Melody had 3 children and a 4th on the way.  Hosting some friends, everyone decided to take a ride in the plane the ministry owned.  Melody didn’t want to go and stayed behind with their one-year-old daughter.

    The group hadn’t been gone long, when Melody got a call that the plane had gone down.  “Too much weight in the small plane prevented it from taking off properly.”8 There were no survivors.  Keith, along with his friends, the pilot and two of his own children perished.

    As I write this today, it has been more than 40 years since I first heard Keith’s music and determined faith.  Perhaps you have heard of him.  His name is Keith Green.

    Keith’s deliverance from drugs and his life beyond the path of darkness and the shadow of death are an amazing testament to the incredible and unbound power of Jesus Christ.

    There is so much more I can say.  If you are interested in reading more about Keith’s life, I would encourage you to visit the ministry Keith and Melody started many years ago.  It is called Last Days Ministries and can be found at LastDaysMinistries.org.

    I believe we are truly in the last days.  The Second Coming of Jesus Christ is so near.  Please take time today to discover who Jesus Christ is.  May you find a like faith as Keith Green.

    “The Lord says to us tonight, He gave us His Son, why won’t we give Him our life in return, all of it?  Why not?  He loves us.” Keith Green, final words in “Song for Josiah” lyrics.

    1. https://lastdaysministries.org/Groups/1000008700/Last_Days_Ministries/Keith_Green/Bio/Bio.aspx, paragraph 3.
    2. https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/melody-green, Ministry Begins, first paragraph.
    3. https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/melody-green, Ministry Begins, first paragraph.
    4. https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/melody-green, Ministry Begins, first paragraph.
    5. https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/melody-green, Ministry Begins, second paragraph.
    6. https://lastdaysministries.org/Groups/1000008700/Last_Days_Ministries/Keith_Green/Bio/Bio.aspx, paragraph 16.
    7. https://lastdaysministries.org/Groups/1000008700/Last_Days_Ministries/Keith_Green/Bio/Bio.aspx, paragraph 13.
    8. https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/melody-green, The Tragedy, paragraph 8
    9. Information for this story was taken from the following two resources:
      1. LastDaysMinistries.org
      1. CompelledPodcast.com/episodes/melody-green

  • Feed My Sheep

    Feed My Sheep

    Image by 12019 from Pixabay

    A friend asked her if she wanted to go to church.  Suzy could care less about church but went for her friend’s sake.  She had decided that afterwards she would get high.  Suzy was a drug addict and had been for many years.

    This visit to church was going to be different for Suzy.  She didn’t know it but Suzy was about to be moved by the world she could not see.

    During the message, Suzy was touched by the Holy Spirit.  She saw the barren path of life she had been walking in her drug abuse and all that came with it.  When Suzy realized that God was for her and not against her, she could not contain her faith.  In tears, Suzy ran to the front during the alter call.

    Suzy had her own place to live but rented an apartment with her friend so the two could be close.  Being in the lower end of town, the rooms were small and the appliances old.

    At her first Thanksgiving as a child of God, it was Suzy’s friend that suggested they make a Thanksgiving meal for their neighbors.  Suzy was petrified!  She could not cook and was afraid they would not be able to take care of a lot of people.  Her friend told her to relax.  They would make the dinner together and everything would be alright.

    Suzy and her friend began telling everyone about the Thanksgiving dinner that was being planned.  Many contributed to the dinner and soon their little apartment was filled with bags and bags of food.

    On the morning of Thanksgiving Day, Suzy and her friend got up early to get things started.  Opening the bags of food, they began sorting the groceries and making their preparations.  The two had not gotten far in their work when Suzy’s friend announced that she was going to see her son.  “Don’t worry,” she said, “I will be back in time to finish and serve the dinner.”

    Those words did not come true.  Suzy, a 26-year-old recovering drug addict with no ability to cook a big Thanksgiving meal for a family, let alone an entire building of people, was left alone with all the preparations for this ambitious endeavor.

    Suzy prayed.  She was overwhelmed and asked Jesus Christ for help.  He answered her prayer.

    Suzy began cooking.  Because of the volume of food, much of it was cooked in different apartments.  Suzy asked her neighbors if she could use their ovens and stoves to cook the Thanksgiving meal.  They consented and so Suzy ran from apartment to apartment, cooking the biggest meal she had ever made with barely the experience to pour a bowl of cereal.

    In her preparations, Suzy said that she even baked homemade bread.  Without knowing beforehand what to do, Suzy said the knowledge just came to her.

    Hours later, the food was ready and people were showing up in numbers far greater than Suzy or her friend had expected.  The line of people went out of the apartment and around the building.  She was terrified that there was not enough food.

    Suzy prayed again.  “Lord, there isn’t enough food for all of these people.”

    His response came back to her.  “There is enough.”

    Suzy opened her apartment and set up tables with the food.  The line of people came in her door.  After getting their food, the line squeezed out the same way.  Plate after plate of food was taken by the waiting crowd.  Suzy worked hard to keep the food filled.

    Somehow, Suzy made it through the meal.  When everyone had been fed, she was surprised to see that there were a lot of leftovers.  Like the miracles of feeding the multitudes in the Gospels, God took Suzy’s meal and multiplied it to meet the needs of the hungry.

    From that Thanksgiving meal, Suzy learned a valuable lesson.  She learned that people are hungry.  Suzy began buying groceries and taking them to impoverished neighborhoods.  Sometimes, Suzy had a truckload of food including cold foods like butter and even ice cream.   When Suzy married Mike, they both worked to get food to hungry people.

    Each time praying for guidance and protection, Suzy would enter different neighborhoods.  Each time, God directed Suzy’s path and connected her with a person in the neighborhood who would take the food and distribute it to their neighbors.  Even during the hot summer months, the food was distributed before the perishable foods spoiled.

    When Suzy connected with a person in the neighborhood, that person became her contact for that neighborhood.  For example, one day, Suzy had her children with her as she took a load of food to a new neighborhood.  She prayed for safety for herself and her children.  God led her to Sister Jean.

    Sister Jean was a Christian who ministered to her neighborhood with a friend.  These two women faithfully ministered the goods that Suzy brought.

    There are more stories, but more time would be needed to discover the work that God has done through one faithful woman.

    Do you believe that God speaks to you?  Suzy does.  God told Suzy that He was sending her to feed the multitudes.  She didn’t understand it at the time, but looking back on her life, Suzy realizes that indeed, God was feeding the multitudes through her, one car load or truck load of food at a time.

    Time and again God has spoken to Suzy and fulfilled His words.  Time after time, He has answered her prayers.  Is she special?  No more than you or I.  But she believes.

    Suzy believes in the God who created the Heavens and the earth and everything in them.  She understands there is life in the world that she cannot see.  And Suzy knows that one day, when the veil of this life is removed, she will see the God who saved her and has used her to do His will all these years.


  • A Story Worth Telling

    A Story Worth Telling

    She was 16 when they married.  He was 22.  Laurel’s parents supported their marriage but it was difficult for them not having their daughter at home.  Looking back on her life, Laurel would say that getting married was one of her better decisions.

    Married life started out with the hope and promise of building a life and family together.  They wasted no time.  Not only did Laurel get married at 16 but she also got pregnant.

    Laurel’s husband, Richard, was often gone either working or in the Naval reserves.  With her family just a few miles away and her husband’s family a few blocks away, Laurel had a solid support system.  She remembers 1959 as a time when there were always friends and family around her.  Laurel’s sisters and brother were among her best friends.

    Laurel grew up in Downey, California where she met Richard.  When Laurel was 19 her father was killed while driving in the San Bernardino mountains.  It is easy to take mountain roads for granted and it is just as easy to forget how little visitors understand those mountain roads.  No one knows who went over the center yellow line but it was no contest between the truck and the little Triumph sports car that Laurel’s dad was in.  

    Laurel’s father was in the cabinet business along with his three other brothers.  The four of them had built three cabins in Crestline, Lake Arrowhead and Big Bear.  Laurel’s dad was on the way to a meeting with his brothers at their Lake Arrowhead cabin when the accident occurred.

    Laurel was too young to enter bars, but this is when the drinking started.

    After her father’s death, Laurel’s mom moved to the San Bernardino mountains where her husband had died.  She opened a sewing shop next to the Dime store in Blue Jay, CA.  Laurel, age 20, followed with Richard and their 3 babies.

    10 years into their marriage, Laurel and Richard were alcoholics.  Not only were they drinking heavily, they were also driving those same winding mountain roads that killed Laurel’s dad many years before.  Laurel said it was a miracle no one was hurt or killed.

    The drinking for Laurel and Richard had become a serious problem.  They just didn’t know it. When they were evicted for not paying their rent, they should have realized the depth of their problem.  But they didn’t.

    For more than a week they lived in their car by the lake.  It sounds like fun unless you have three kids and no place to live.  While the children remember it as a fun time at the lake, Laurel and Richard knew better.  Richard was able to get enough money for a hotel room off the hill.  He drove up the mountain every day to work and eventually they saved enough money to rent another home.

    Laurel and Richard had child number 4 but they continued drinking.  All four of Laurel and Richard’s children grew up making the same poor choices their parents did.

    It wasn’t until they became guardians of their granddaughter that they quit drinking.

    After 30 years of marriage, a life changing event was about to transform their lives.

    On their way home from a car show in Nevada, Laurel and Richard were arguing.  Laurel says it was an argument about nothing but she did not want to be with Richard and asked to be dropped off at Harvest church.  Laurel knew her kids would bring her home.  Richard was glad to get rid of her for a while.  Although she had never been to this church, the service intrigued Laurel.  It was not as stiff and formal as the church she remembered.

    When the Harvest crusade came, Laurel went with her kids.  The theme of the crusade was called Summer Harvest.  The first night of the crusade, Laurel came home happy.  That made Richard think Laurel was cheating on him, so he decided to go the next night.

    At the service the next night, Richard learned that Laurel wasn’t looking for another man.  Instead, he gave his life to Jesus Christ along with one of their daughters and her husband.

    Laurel resisted accepting this faith.  It took reading the bible and going to bible studies to understand that she could be born again; born of the Spirit, and have a personal relationship with the only Living God of the Universe.

    Once she accepted this knowledge, Laurel began to change.  As Laurel and Richard changed, so did their children.  Within a couple of months, each of their children gave their life to Christ.

    45 years into their marriage, Laurel’s husband, Richard was diagnosed with stage 4 Multiple Myeloma.  He was 67 years old.  Laurel had to quit working to take care of him.  The doctors said he only had 6 months to live.  God gave him 5 more years.  Laurel said those years were filled with bible studies every day and lots of time together.  Richard was the only man in her life and she loved him deeply.

    Life for Laurel and Richard encompassed 50 years.  They wanted to build a life and family together and that is what they did.  Though there were many poor and outright bad decisions, Laurel sees the hand of the God she now loves watching over her even when she didn’t know Him.  She sees that it was a living and loving God who protected them while they drove drunk on mountain roads.  It was that same God who provided for them when they didn’t have a place to stay.  And it was that same God who transformed their lives and the lives of their children.  It is still that same God who is transforming lives through the work of each of the children that the Lord gave to Laurel and her husband.

    Thirty years have passed since their transformation and more than 60 years since her marriage to Richard.  3 out of their 4 children serve in ministry.  Their oldest son is an associate pastor and has battled esophageal cancer.  Their two daughters each serve in ministry.  One of their daughters struggled with tumors and underwent surgery to remove them including one on her spine.  Because of the Covid Pandemic, her family could not be with her during surgery and recovery.  Their fourth child, a son, followed his dad’s footsteps into cabinetry and construction.  Each of them has a unique story.

    Do you want to know Laurel’s regrets?  We all have them.  She regrets more than 20 years of drinking.  She wishes she had been born again earlier in life.  Laurel also wishes that she had been a better mom.  Loving others more is another change she would make if she could.  Most of all, Laurel regrets not spending more time laughing with her husband, more time hugging and laying with him instead of worrying about cleaning, cooking, and fussing over dumb stuff.

    Laurel’s is a story worth telling because it is a story of an epic journey through life to eternity.  It is a story we all share.  The details may be different, but the struggle is the same.  It is the struggle of life lived out in good choices, bad choices, and the unknowns we all face.  Through it all is Jesus Christ witnessing of the life and wholeness He has to offer.

    This is Laurel’s story but your story is just as important.  You too are on an epic journey.  Jesus Christ is lighting the way for you.  Can you see Him?


  • Her Friends Just Call Her Feather

    Photo by Robert Balog

    She was born in Troy, Ohio, in a farm town near Dayton.  Her father and namesake left when she was 6 months old.

    Alexis was named after her father, Alexander, who drove tanks over mines for a living.  When she was older, her mother marched Alexis up to a strange woman and said, “This is the woman your father left me for.”  Alexis would never know her father and would only remember him as a womanizer.

    As a result of her father leaving, Alexis lived with her mother and grandmother. With no means of support, her mother was forced to work in an era when most mothers stayed at home.  As it is, Alexis was raised by her grandmother while her mother left for the day to work.  Could this be the reason that mother never understood daughter?

    When asked about her earliest memory, Alexis said that it was a day her mother had come home for lunch.  When her mother was leaving to go back to work, she was looking for her office keys and couldn’t find them.  That’s because Alexis had hidden the keys in her little wooden with ceramic bowl, potty.  She did not want her mother to go back to work.

    Sunday mornings after mass, it was her responsibility to walk two blocks and pick up the Sunday paper.  She was probably 11 or 12 years old.  This chore took Alexis by the church where black people worshipped.  It always touched her as she passed their church because she could hear them praising Jesus Christ and worshipping Him so sincerely.  They sounded happy and joyful.  And she couldn’t help but compare that to her own solemn church.

    If you ask her now, Alexis would say that she is a recovering Catholic.  As a child, she went to Mass with her mother and grandmother every week, but by the 4th grade she had figured out that she could do one more sin before confession and it would be covered.  It didn’t take long to figure out that she did not want to follow the Catholic faith.

    When Alexis saw a picture of Jesus Christ with several children around Him, in her spirit, Alexis felt she was there with those other kids standing around Jesus.  Ever since, she has loved Jesus with all of her heart, soul, mind and strength.

    As Alexis got older, she dated a black man.  This caused her mother to put her in a mental institution.  These institutions were called “hospitals,” but they specialized in treating psychiatric patients.  If you didn’t fit in to what society understood, then you were sent to one of these “hospitals”.  Videos from the 1950’s promoting these “hospitals”, make them look more like a prison than a hospital.  Is it any wonder that she escaped?

    Alexis became a ward of the state and was sent to a girl’s industrial school.  Her path eventually brought her together with a group of souls where she found peace and acceptance.  History refers to groups like the one Alexis joined as hippies.  Even now, as she nears the final years of life, Alexis considers herself a hippie.

    As part of the group, Alexis found herself surrounded by birds and thoughts of birds.  It was a point in her life where she was focused on birds.  Perhaps it was because birds have a freedom that she longed for.  Since Alexis identified with birds, she decided to change her name to “Free Feather,” but her friends just call her Feather.

    As a young woman living on her own in Cleveland, Feather lived in an apartment on the ground level of the building.  One night a man snuck in to her apartment through the bathroom window.  He stabbed her seven times, then stabbed her again in the neck and began choking her.

    Subdued and motionless, Feather felt something wet and warm on her.  Looking up, she saw her attacker ejaculating on her.  She got up and tried to run but could not get away from him.

    When he chased her, Feather swung back and hit him with a force not her own.  She hit him so hard that he flew backwards across the room.  Taking the opportunity to escape, Feather dove through a plate glass window and landed on the ground in front of a mother and her young son as they were walking by.

    Bloodied and almost lifeless, Feather lay where she landed and heard the little boy said, “Look Mommie, she can’t breathe.”

    Feather was transported to the hospital where she underwent a surgery that lasted hours.  The doctor said that she should not have made it off the operating table.  Clearly, Jesus Christ had other plans.

    Having suffered so much by the hands of an unknown assailant, it wasn’t the knife of her aggressor that caused her life’s deepest wound.  Looking back over the years, Feather says her deepest wound was feeling abandoned by her mother.  There is no knife on earth that can wound a heart or soul more deeply than the words or actions of one so close to us.  My friends, life was not meant to be this way.

    Through it all, Feather has learned to be true to herself and never let anyone discourage her from being who she is.  She shares this advice with anyone who would listen.

    In time, life blossomed for Feather.  Her simple loves are reading, writing, cooking and Chinese food.  Feather says that she deeply loves people, but when it comes to her children, Feather confesses that she loves them more than anything in this world.  Feather, an only child, had 6 children of her own, although tragedy took one many years ago.

    I think Feather loves her children so deeply because she knows firsthand how precious a treasure, children really are and how important it is to pour out on them every ounce of love she can.  And she doesn’t hold back that love.

    Of course, nothing compares to her love for Jesus.  Feather adamantly says that Jesus Christ is love and love is Jesus Christ.  In fact, Feather believes that love is the greatest force on the planet and I would agree with her.  She would tell you that life is framed by the two greatest commandments.  They are:

    • “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,” and
    • “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27

    It is a beautiful thing to see a life grow from adversity to a being of love.  She is one who is driven by a force so great yet so gentle as the purest form of love that Jesus Christ pours out on His children.

    Out of the wounds of her life, God has created a unique and beautiful soul that shines in the darkness for all to see.  If you meet her, you will not soon forget her.  And this light that has been forged by the only living God, will shine brightly forever and ever.


  • A Home for Love

    Jessica’s Story

    Jessica’s parents never wanted kids, but when they discovered their relationship would be blessed with a child, these two parents diligently prepared for their baby’s arrival.  The room was ready and filled with toys and clothes.

    It was during prenatal visits to the doctor, the mother and father discovered their daughter had Down Syndrome. This young couple knew in their heart they were not prepared to care for a special-needs child, so they chose to surrender their daughter for adoption.

    A Child with Special Needs

    Suzie and Mike, parents of three children, had decided they wanted another child.  This time though, they decided to adopt a child.  Their third child was a daughter born with Down Syndrome so they decided to adopt another child with special needs.

    It took time, but Suzie and Mike completed the paperwork and home study to be able to adopt their next child.  When they were finally ready, Suzie began calling adoption agencies to introduce herself and find the child that God wanted for them.  She made call after call only to find out there were no children to adopt.

    For weeks, Suzie called different agencies but each time she was told the same thing.  There was not a child to adopt.  She even called adoption agencies in several different states but was unable to locate a child to welcome into their family.

    Suzie finally surrendered.  It was clear this path was getting her nowhere.  In prayer, Suzie shared her frustration with the Lord.  He encouraged her that there was a child for them.

    The months passed.  Suzie’s birthday arrived.  As a gift to their mom, Suzie was told to stay in her room while Mike and the kids cleaned the house.  They let her know that she could come out when they were done.

    Your Child Has Been Born

    Suzie complied and spent a comfortable morning in her room.  About 10:30am, Suzie heard the Lord speak to her.  “Your child has been born.”  Those words filled her with hope.

    Two weeks later, Suzie was contacted by an adoption agency.  On her paperwork, Suzie had said that she did not want to speak with the birth-mother.  The adoption agency said that they had a child that needed a home, but the birth-mother wanted to know about the adopting family.

    Suzie did not want to connect with the birth-mother but the adoption agency said that she was very specific.  The birth-mother wanted to know that her daughter would go to a home that had a special needs child already.  She wanted to make sure her daughter was going to a home that would love her and care for her, so Suzie relented and spoke with the birth-mother.

    The conversation went well.  Suzie felt this child would be right for their family.  As the call came to an end, Suzie asked the birth-mother one last question.  “What is your daughter’s birthday?”  The answer to this question would tell Suzie if the Lord was involved.

    The birth-mother said that November 12th, was her baby’s birthday.  That finalized it.  Suzie’s birthday, the day she spent in her room, the day the Lord spoke to her and said that her baby had been born, was November 12th.

    Go Where the Lord is

    When you pray, it is often very hard to know if the Lord is involved.  Our wants often deceive our hearts and convince us the Lord is in control when really, we are the ones controlling our lives.  The cure for that is to go where the Lord is.

    Do you feel the Lord is often absent from your life?  Let me comfort and assure you that Jesus Christ is always with you.  24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 366 days a year, Jesus watches over you, loves you and cares for you.  It is not that the Lord is absent from your life.  If your needs are met and you have comfort, He may not need to be that active in your life.

    If I may be so bold as to say that Jesus Christ is most active where there is the most need.  Jesus once shared a parable about 100 sheep.  In this parable, the shepherd was missing one of the sheep.  He left the 99 sheep to search for the one that was lost.  That meant the 99 sheep had everything they could need.  The shepherd didn’t abandon his sheep.  He knew the 99 would be safe until his return.  But he wasn’t active in their life because they didn’t need anything.  It was the one lost that needed his care.  It was the one lost where he was most active.

    “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.” Luke 15:4-7 NKJV

    God is Working Miracles Big and Small

    If you want to see the Lord active in your life, then you will need to go where He is most active.  God is working miracles big and small in the lives of those who have the most need.

    Is your life comfortable?  I spent decades building my comfortable life, but at the end all I felt was empty.  It was not until I learned that I was created for significance and needed to leave my comfort zone that God started really moving in my life.

    Significance requires sacrifice.  Getting out of your comfort zone and meeting the Lord is not easy but it is fulfilling.  And the closer you are to need, the more you will be filled with the strength and resources you need.  Give it a try.  There are opportunities everywhere.  All you need to do is find one and participate.

    Suzie prayed for a child who had great needs.  Do you know what she got?  A child with great needs.  The real blessing though is not meeting the needs of her daughter.  It is the love that her daughter gives that is the true blessing.  Now an adult, Jessica loves like a child.  It is possibly the purest form of God’s love here on earth.  And it found its way into the hearts and lives of Suzie, Mike and their family.


  • What a Mother Leaves Behind

    What a Mother Leaves Behind

    Donna’s Story

    She died, if only for a few moments.  When Donna woke up, the nurse was poking the bottom of her foot with a needle and anxiously saying, “Donna, come back to us!”

    Donna was in the hospital for a complicated surgery.  It was the umpteenth trip and infection was becoming a serious problem.

    Before coming back to the awareness of her body that day, Donna was physically unconscious due to the anesthesia but her subconscious mind was still experiencing and she found herself crouched in a long dark hallway.  Someone above called her name, but she was too tired to respond.  At the very end of the hall, was a light, but she had no strength to walk the distance to it.

    Moments later, the darkness melted away into golden daylight.  Vibrant colors filled her eyes and peace engulfed her.  She heard two women talking as they were walking by.  Donna looked at them and they in turn, stopped and looked at her.  Their brief glances exchanged, Donna returned to her physical body and consciousness.

    We Almost Lost Her that Day

    I was a teenager when my mother suffered complications due to her hysterectomy.  It was years later that I learned we almost lost her that day.

    As of this writing, I am blessed to say that my mother is still on this side of the veil.  She is 84 going on 85 and though the years have taken a toll on her body, her spirit is still strong and undiminished.  This is as good a time as any to reflect on what my mother has taught me.

    I won’t bore you with the details of learning to eat everything on my plate or washing the dishes after dinner, or doing my homework and mowing the lawn every Saturday.  Every soul has stories about the mechanics of growing up.  But it is the ability to look beyond my physical world that my mother has given me that I want to share.

    All my life, my mother, Donna, has taught me to see the evidences of the world we don’t see.  The unseen world is the realm that will be visible when this mortal life is over.  You see, we are all eternal beings on a journey.  We are connected to this world by our physical body but when that connection is done, then we will see the next life.  This is what happened to my mother in the hospital during her surgery.

    There are evidences of the next life that can be seen but it takes time to learn them because too often they are written off as a coincidence or just plain ignored because we don’t understand their meaning.

    I will share another of my mother’s examples.

    Donna Always Had Pen and Paper

    She was 15 and very sick.  The pneumonia wasn’t life-threatening but did keep her in bed while she recovered.

    Donna missed being at school. She wrote for the high school newspaper and enjoyed the time with her friends.  No matter how sick she felt though, Donna always had pen and paper by her bed.  Thoughts are perishable and she never missed an opportunity to save them.  Ask any writer and they will tell you that they don’t always know where the words come from, but when they do, if they are special, then a writer does not want to lose them.

    That pen and paper worked on this night.  It was the worst of her illness when she woke up in the middle of the night with words going through her head.  The words that came to Donna on this night were very special.  Even if she could not understand their meaning, Donna wasted no time in writing them down.

    Speak to Me

    This is what she wrote down.

    “Speak to me, not with conventional words, but with thine eyes convey the thought.  Suffer not thy lips to utter forgotten speech, thy heart and mind and soul are far easier to believe, for words are a gift too often carelessly used, so, sprinkle them wisely o’er Life’s traversed road ‘til through its many turns and heights, we find ourselves at the very end where there is nothing, save Time and Space – A great, black void where hangs the soul, where words shall fail and Peace shall prove its worth.”

    That was 1953.  As a teenager, Donna didn’t have the understanding it took to fathom their meaning.  Now, at the other end of life, she understands those words better but still ponders their depths.

    Clearly, the words she wrote down that night were not of this world.  They are from and pertain to the world we don’t see.  Maybe you haven’t considered that world.  You are not alone.  Most people are so focused on just getting through the day that they don’t consider what will happen when this life is over.

    There are more evidences of the world we don’t see.  The question is whether we will believe these testimonies when they happen.

    Alone in Darkness

    An experience in my own life is reflected in the words my mother wrote.  I work in retail and often have more than 2000 people a day come through our doors, so I have met a lot of people.

    One of my customers shared the story that he died and came back to life.  When he died, it was dark and there was nothingness.  I didn’t share my experiences and never asked to hear his story.  What he told me was not prompted by anything on my part.  My customer said that the hospital recorded the event.

    The disturbing part of his story though, was that for him, death was a dark place.  There was no light at the end of a tunnel, no green grass, blue sky, or colors of any kind.  There were also no people.  He was alone in darkness.

    In my conversation with this man, no word was shared about a faith in God or Jesus Christ.  That idea seemed to be the furthest thing from his mind.  That is his choice.  To each his own as they say.  I think though, that if there is life beyond this physical life, that we should consider it with all our heart.

    No One Like Her

    When I put together words written 70 years ago with a man’s testimony in the present time, then I must conclude there is deep truth in words given to a sick teenager.  I am grateful that my mother has taught me to see evidences of the unseen world.  It has made my own journey of faith in Jesus Christ a deeper one.

    Mothers are a special gift from God.  I have friends who have lost their mother and friends whose mothers are still here.  Either way, take a moment today to reflect on your mother and the good things she has taught you.  There is without a doubt, no one like her in your life.