Florita buried her daughter, her firstborn, when she was only 12 years old. Lupus showed no mercy when her daughter contracted the disease and died from it. By Flo’s own confession, she was devastated. Who could console this mother’s loss? Who was there to console her? As a single mother without a husband to raise 4 children on her own, Flo was left to grapple with the devastating effects of the death of her only daughter.
The loss of a child is not the normal order of life. It is usually our children who bury us. But there they were. Flo’s three boys. She had to go on for their sake. Eventually, Flo enshrined the loss of her daughter in a special place in her heart so that she could move on. She knew that her daughter would never come back to her. This mother’s faith told her that one day she would go to her daughter.
It was but scant years before death visited once more. This mother of 4, and now 3, had barely learned to live again when she lost a son in a freak accident during boot camp. A truck rolled over during a training exercise and her loss grew to two children. Pride in her son’s courage to join the Army melted into her worst fear and the familiar grief of loss. He was barely 18.
Tell Me, is it True?
They say that time heals all wounds. Tell me, Flo, is it true? I would trust you to know.
Time brought this single mother a new and wonderful husband. Life with her husband and two remaining boys who were now grown men with lives of their own was finally full. Eventually, these boys brought young women for their mother to love as daughters-in-law. Together, these 2 boys and their wives gave Florita grand-children to love. It was time to truly heal. Or was it?
The unfathomable news that her third child had died could not be contained. Circumstances of his death only shrouded her grief in misery and confusion.
Flo’s grand-children and their mother were gathered together with her remaining son, to lower his brother into the ground. This was the day I first met her. Flo sat stoically as the eulogy was delivered for her beloved son. I could not begin to imagine the depth of her pain. It made me wonder, why is it that some must carry burdens so great?
Almost 5 Years to the Day
I won’t hide what happens next. It was almost 5 years to the day. Her last son. Her only son left alive. Her only child left who had been there for each passing of his siblings and the ceremonies that marked the next step in their eternal journeys. This son knew the loss his mother carried. He cared for his mother so much that he chose to give up his love of riding motorcycles to be there for her in her old age. Deciding to sell his motorcycle, he found a co-worker to buy it, just to make sure he would never be in a motorcycle accident that would take him away from his mother. That fateful morning, on his way to work to deliver the bike to his friend, he was killed in an accident. Her last son. Her youngest. Gone. It defies all reason.
Who Could Endure?
Florita must be a strong woman. Who could endure the loss of all of her children? She continued when others would have surrendered. Fortunately, Flo’s husband was there to comfort her. Flo was alone in the beginning, but not now. The years into retirement brought travel together with her husband. There were good times as they toured the country in their motorhome.
Eventually, as it is with all life, our youth passes. We are left aged, even though we still feel young on the inside. It is what is on the outside that drags us down. Old bodies that creak and groan and grumble. Flo and her husband were aging. At the normal time of life that death would come calling, it would have been a mercy for Flo to be the one to go first.
When we received the call that Flo’s husband had passed, I couldn’t stop thinking of her and her journey on this island called, earth. I don’t know anyone else who has endured so much loss. It makes me wonder about who Flo is and what type of person she is on the inside that could suffer so much and go on.
Florita has had 5 family members walk through the veil before her. Rarely must one person suffer so much loss. All who hear Flo’s story will grieve with her at her immeasurable loss. If I could give my life to bring even one of her family back, I would do it gladly.
The only way I can come to grips with the loss Flo has endured is to think of our future self in heaven. In time, each of us will walk the path Flo’s family has taken. I wonder what it will be like to shed this mortal life for immortality; to leave the world we see for the world we don’t see.
Through a Mirror Dimly
Flo has lost everyone. All four children and now her husband. Seemingly, she is alone in this life, but Jesus Christ is still with her. He will never leave Flo or abandon her. Jesus Christ has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” Hebrews 13:5 partial, NASB. He sees Flo’s loss and will restore all that she has lost. Scripture says, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” Joel 2:25. He will turn your mourning into praise and will cause you to rejoice. “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever.” Psalms 30:11-12 NIV.
We do not see it now because we see through a mirror dimly. “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV. Who can see through the veil? It is always before us until we take that step in our journey into eternity. But there are evidences of what lies beyond the veil. Those proofs are found in the bible as well as all around us.
We see them in the flowers, trees, mountains and oceans. It is the perfection and symbiosis of all life and living things. It is in the fact that the ocean goes no further than the beach. The bible tells us that God put an everlasting ordinance on the ocean so that it would stop at the beach. “I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it.” Jeremiah 5:22 NIV, partial.
We also see and hear these evidences in the stories we tell that remind us of deeds long past. Jesus’ birth, life, death and resurrection are one example.
If you are like Flo and have suffered loss, then let me encourage you. I think that when we enter the veil, we will learn the story of those who have gone before us and we will discover that they entered through the veil with singing and dancing and music and joy and peace and inexpressible love. It is what each of those who have made a choice for Jesus Christ, will experience when they take that next step in their journey.
Are You Unsure?
Are you unsure of a loved one who has gone before you? Take heart. No one knows who will be waiting for us, but with God, all things are possible. God is the one who examines our heart. “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind.” Jeremiah 17:10 NIV, partial. He is the judge and if there is anyone who you would want judging you, it is the God who is love.
Love covers a multitude of sins. Love endures when all else fails. Love forgives the unforgiveable. You don’t believe me? See what the bible has to say about love.
- “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8 NIV
- “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10 NIV
- “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:12 NIV
- “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV
- “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
Flo, isn’t alone. The hosts of Heaven are with her. They mourn as one with her and for her great loss. God will restore her loss and give her time unending to enjoy the fruit she longs for, which is her family.